The Sorting Hat: A Quiz

Welcome to Hogwarts! We got some houses, we got some students, the students go in the houses, you know the drill. What are you, new?

The hat goes on your head. The hat asks you questions. You answer the questions. The hat tells you where you belong. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

QUESTION ONE
You're walking down the street when you hear a terrible cry from a nearby alley. A nearby... Diagon Alley???
Anyway, you rush to check it out, and you see somebody getting mugged. Mugged with magic or some shit. It's pretty harsh. You:
A.) Rush to the rescue of the innocent, defending the weak from the cruel.
B.) Join in. The victim looks rich and you want a piece.
C.) Eat a whole Toblerone in one go

QUESTION TWO
It's Friday night and you've got a hot date! You know what that means - movies! You:
A.) Take them to see Lone Survivor, a tale of heroism and sacrifice. You lean over and say, "See that? That's me. That's what I'd do."
B.) Take them to see Wolf of Wall Street, a tale of taking what you want at all costs. You lean over and say, "See that? That's me. That's what I'd do."
C.) Eat a whole Toblerone in one go.

QUESTION THREE
You put a Sorting Hat on your head. It asks you what house you want to be in. You:
A.) Say Gryffindor, and mean it.
B.) Say Gryffindor, because what, some fuckin' hat's gonna know you're lying?
C.) Say District 12, because you don't fully understand this exercise

RESULTS
Did you pick mostly A? You're a GRYFFINDOR.

You're regal, noble, blah blah blah, total buzzkill at parties.

Did you pick mostly B? You're a SLYTHERIN.

You're kind of an asshole, but at least you ain't a goddamn, Gryffindor. What a bunch of tools.

Did you pick mostly C? You're a HUFFLEPUFF.

You're alright, you Hufflepuff you. You're alright. Keep up the good work.

So how about YOU, everybody? Where's the sorting hat gonna put YOU?