Hello! We are strong like bull Jaeger rangers Sasha and Aleksis Kaidonovsky! We enjoy to punch monster.
We are pilot Cherno Alpha, who keeps motherland safe from monster for six year. SIX YEAR! Can you say same, capitalist pig-dogs?
Capitalist pig-dogs ask us and Cherno Alpha and our rocket punch for help, so we help.
But more important, is us! Look at our hair. LOOK AT IT!
We enjoy huddling in cold Siberian caves, collecting Kaiju teeth, and ravaging each other's bodies like rabid timberwolves.
Do you like dance? Dance, pig-dogs!
Here is fine article giving us proper credit for our hair and teeth. Read, then go watch us elbow drop monster!
Seriously, LOOK AT OUR HAIR!
Bonus: Would you like to see the day that God blessed our ferocious coupling? Of course you would.
Rest assured, nobody within a two-mile radius slept that night.